


Wild at Heart

by thewhitelady (Sileas)



Category: Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 15:18:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13743699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sileas/pseuds/thewhitelady
Summary: Modern AU. Jamie and Claire go on an adventure to the American west to seek out and save a herd of endangered wild horses. (2016 fanfic secret santa for @scatterations on Tumblr)





	1. Chapter 1

During her time at university one of Claire’s sociology professors had warned them to beware the developing culture of exaggeration. Everything was somehow awe-inspiring, the average day had the ability to be the absolute best or the worst ever - it had become commonplace to turn every snowfall into a snowmageddon. She could hear his lectures replaying in her mind when she decided that without a doubt she was living the worst. day. ever.  
  
Two patients lost on the table before lunch. Everyone had told her it wasn’t her fault, there was nothing she could have done, but it was still her hands that held their hearts as they stopped beating. As was standard practice, she would be on leave with pay until some formalities were sorted out. One of her superiors suggested that she meet with a psychologist, but it was her close friend and confident Joe Abernathy that suggested she get away.  
  
“ _Go,_ ” he’d said. “ _Take some time and forget about this mess. Lay on a beach, drink too much, have a fling, just get out of Dodge._ ”  
  
Time off was not something Claire had much experience in. She’d gone from a life of travelling with her archaeologist uncle in which every day was work, to nursing school, on to medical school, with an interlude as the 18-year-old trophy wife of one of her uncle’s much older colleagues.  
  
She’d never really had a vacation. Even when she had been married to Frank, any opportunity they had to get away was usually a fact finding trip for his historical research and not something she would consider remotely relaxing. Part of the reason why divorcing him had been an easy decision, the other part being his penchant for inviting bubbly, young female students to stay behind after class for personal “study time” with the professor.  
  
She found herself wandering through the lobby of the hospital, the smell of astringent permeating through the halls. Patients with varying degrees of sickness or injury waited for their opportunity to consult with medical experts. She made eye contact with a young boy as she passed, his eyes full of tears as he cradled a sore arm. She gave him a warm, reassuring smile, momentarily imagining a day when she might console her own child through their bumps, bruises and broken bones.  
  
Distracted by the thought of a future that at at the ripe old age of 35 seemed unattainably far away, she didn’t notice she’d reached a dead end. In front of her was a wall lined with cork. She’d seen it many times but never stopped to look at the information it held. The board was adorned with community postings about support groups, bake sales, knitting classes and old trucks for sale but what caught Claire’s eye was a plain piece of white paper hastily tacked to the centre with handmade, tear away phone numbers across the bottom.  
  
**SAVE THE WILD HORSES**  
_Backpack through the American wilderness to rescue a centuries-old herd of wild horses from culling._  
Call Jamie for more details and meeting times.  
  
Without as much as a second to change her mind, she dialled the number.


	2. Chapter 2

There was a meeting set for a pub on the outskirts of Edinburgh - a residential area not typically bustling with activity - clearly this was someone’s local. Claire was expecting to find herself among a crowd of activist-types, but when she swung open the door it was a different story. An older man - aged both by his worn, wrinkled skin and his old-fashioned sense of style - sat at the bar nursing a pint, speaking animatedly with the bartender but otherwise she couldn’t see anyone, activist or otherwise.  
  
“Miss Beauchamp?”  
  
She’d spoken to him on the phone, so the Scottish lilt was familiar to her, but she didn’t expect him to be quite so tall, or quite so handsome.  
  
“I’m Jamie Fraser,” he said, not taking any notice of her stunned silence as she gave him a solid once over.  
  
“Please,” she said while shaking her head free of the cobwebs his 6-foot-frame, shaggy mop of curly red-gold hair and exposed biceps had left in her head. “Call me Claire.”  
  
“Lovely to meet ye, Claire. Would ye like something to drink?”  
  
“Where is everyone?”  
  
“Well…”  
  
A blush began in the hollow of his v-neck t-shirt and crept up to the tips of his ears, which were practically glowing.  
  
“My brother-in-law, Ian, was meant to come but my sister is with child ken, so he thought it best to stay home. Otherwise, there wasna any other replies to my notice but you, lass. Which I’m glad fer - it may be good to have a physician along.”  
  
Now it was Claire’s turn to blush. Part of her wanted to turn and hightail it for the door, but this was a real opportunity to go on her own adventure and if it meant travelling halfway across the world in the company of a good looking Scot, then so be it. It was much like her days with Uncle Lamb except now she forged her own path.  
  
She let Jamie lead her to a table in the corner where he filled her in on where the idea for this trip had come from. He spoke with pure passion about horses, having been brought up on a mixed-use farm in the Northern Highlands where his family had bred, trained and sold horses.   
  
He had been following the story of a herd of wild horses in Montana, descendants of animals driven west during pioneer times. For years, ranchers had treated the horses as pests - killing them for destruction of crops and damage to property. Even with a dwindling population, the state’s government had begun issuing licenses to cull the beasts and it was an action Jamie couldn’t stand for.  
  
“That’s horrible,” Claire said, putting her hand over her heart in sympathy for the animals.  
  
“Aye, ‘tis. That’s why we need to do something. There’s a group organizing out in America but they dinna plan to take any action until the weather is better, but the horses…they need us now more than ever, ye ken. There’s very little to eat this time of year so they roam great distances in the snow, which puts them in more danger. There’s a bit of private land as has been designated a wildlife preserve and I wish to drive them there. You ride, aye?”  
  
“Yes, of course,” Claire answered, though in truth the last time she had been on a saddle was when she was thirteen and it was a camel. There was no way she was going to say no, though. If she had to, she’d let Jamie ride her through the wilderness if it meant she got to go along.  
  
“That’s braw,” Jamie smiled and Claire resisted the urge to fan herself at the way his cheek dimpled just-so, making him appear even more attractive than he already was.  
  
With that, a plan was set. Claire had no objections and no job or family obligations to keep her from travelling on a whim, so they’d made plans to fly to Montana in mid-December and help save the world…or at least part of it. She’d never felt so empowered outside of her work as a surgeon. She wasn’t sure if the way Jamie seemed to trust her completely after only a few hours of knowing her had any bearing on her boost in confidence but it certainly didn’t hurt.  
  
“I forgot to ask,” he said as they reached her car, parked just outside the bar. “As far as accommodations go…ye do have yer own tent?”  
  
“Oh, no actually. Shall I purchase one?”  
  
“Dinna worry lass,” Jamie brushed her off. “Mine is plenty big enough and warm enough for the pair of us. Leaves more room in your pack for food.”  
  
She didn’t dare tell him that her next stop was to buy a backpack.


	3. Chapter 3

“Can I ask you a question?”

Claire turned to Jamie in the dimly lit airplane. It was the middle of the night on their lengthy voyage to the American west. Most of the other passengers were asleep but she found herself wide awake, thinking about what would happen in the coming days.

“Of course,” she whispered over the hum of the engines.

“How did an English lass like you end up living in Edinburgh all alone?”

It wasn’t the first time she’d been asked the question, but it didn’t feel right to tell him the same story she had told everyone else - that it was where she got offered a job. Truth was, she was up for a lot of jobs - lots of hospitals wanted a doctor as talented as her. In the end, the decision was easy. Edinburgh was geographically furthest away from Frank and the painful memories that England seemed to constantly bring back up to reminder her of all the most painful moments in her life. 

“You dinna seem the type o’ lass would run from a man.”

“I’m not,” Claire said firmly. “It was more than just Frank, to be honest. I lost my parents when I was young and was raised by my uncle. Shortly after we returned to England, I lost him too. There’s a lot of painful memories there, not just of my failed marriage.”

“Ye didna fail,” Jamie reassured her. “It’s better to accept you’ve done all you can and move on, than to never have tried at all.”

“Is that why you’re here?” she asked, motioning around them to the aisles full of sleepy passengers. “To try?”

Jamie smiled her now-favourite smile, the one where one corner of his mouth lifted just a bit higher than the other, making her favourite dimple. She silently kicked herself for being so infatuated after only a couple of weeks - like a teenage girl.

“I suppose ye might say that. I couldna live wi’ myself knowing that I hadna tried. I dinna ken whether what we do over the next week or so will make any difference at all, but I’ll have done everything I could. That’s enough for my conscience to bear it.”

Claire gently placed her hand on his forearm. The plane was somewhat cool but his skin felt like he’d just stepped out of the sun. She ran her thumb over the golden, downy hair beneath her hand before gently squeezing.

“Too many things in my life have turned to shit. I’m going to help you do this and we will succeed. I promise.”

“Careful,” Jamie whispered teasingly. “I take promises verra seriously.”

“I won’t let you down, Jamie.”

He leaned in toward her and she resisted the urge to move her palm to his freshly stubbled cheek. “I dinna doubt it, Sassenach.”

She wasn’t sure what it was about him. Even in her youth she hadn’t found herself so consumed by a man and the desire to impress him. Certainly, Frank had never left her with the butterflies that were currently tumbling around her chest cavity. Thoughts of Jamie came directly with a feeling of safety she’d only experienced with Uncle Lamb when she was young.

“Sassenach? What does that mean?” She asked, taking a moment to roll the word around in her mouth.

“To some it simply means English person. To others, it means outsider or one not from the Highlands. For you, it means something different entirely, I feel. You’re a verra unusual lady, Claire.”

She smiled.  _Finally, somebody noticed._

 


	4. Chapter 4

Claire had learned a lot about Jamie during their journey from the UK to the western plains of the U.S. He was the only son of two children, the youngest since his baby brother had died on the day of his birth, along with Jamie’s mother. His father had passed away just a few years later, leaving his sister Jenny and her husband Ian the caretakers of the family farm. Jamie had stayed on for a few years, but his skills as a horseman were highly sought after and he soon found himself working at some of the most elite equestrian centres in Europe.  
  
It wasn’t the satisfying life he had expected it to be. Superficial, elitist and less about bringing up horses with good personalities - they only wanted longer pedigrees to put more dollars in the bank. For Jamie, it was all about the horses. He could speak to them in a way he couldn’t speak to anyone else.  
  
In spite of their lengthy conversations, the most revolutionary thing that Claire learned wasn’t until they were standing in front of a rental car counter when she discovered that Jamie was not a licensed driver. Never had the need for it, he’d said. Anywhere he needed to go, he could walk. Which left Claire behind the wheel of a four wheel drive pickup, bigger than anything she’d ever driven before, heading down the wrong side of the road into the snowy wilderness.  
  
An unexpected storm had rolled in while they were in the air, delaying their plans to set up camp. They’d managed to find a guest ranch along the way with a vacancy (mostly vacancies, Claire suspected, given the likelihood of the average traveller vacationing in a difficult to reach location in the winter and the sheer excitement of the woman on the phone when she’d called to inquire.)  
  
The roads were long, snow covered and barren. Claire felt like they were travelling at a snail’s pace and was grateful for the privacy on the road, if only because she wasn’t quite sure that she had complete control of the vehicle.   
  
The snow was falling harder now. It wasn’t the big, fluffy flakes she was used to back home, but an unrelenting downpour of smaller crystals that swirled across the road like a rushing river. With flat prairie fields on one side of the highway and the mountains on the other, the resulting wind tunnel pushed the truck from one side, then the other, leaving Claire to white-knuckle the wheel anxiously.  
  
“Are ye alright?”  
  
“Sorry, did you say something?” Claire gave Jamie a meek smile but tried not to show her discomfort.  
  
“Aye,” he chuckled under his breath. “The next exit is ours.”  
  
“Oh! Of course. Thank you, navigator.”  
  
Jamie’s map reading lead them down a long, winding driveway that opened up to reveal a main house and three smaller log cabins. The lights were on at the big house, illuminating the snow covered front porch.  
  
“It’s beautiful here,” Claire said as she shut off the engine, looking up at the old, rustic farm house in awe.  
  
“Aye,” Jamie agreed. “Minds of me of Scotland a bit. It’s my dream to live this way, caring for my own land, out in the wilderness wi’ no one around.”  
  
“Surely you won’t want to be all alone?”  
  
“I didna say I’d be alone.”  
  
The porch lights bouncing off the falling snow created a glow that illuminated the inside of the truck and gave Jamie’s eyes a bright grey-blue hue as they locked with hers. Claire wanted to tell him he was too perfect to be real, she wanted to tell him that she would live in the woods with him forever if he asked.  
  
“We should go inside,” she said instead.


	5. Chapter 5

The cabin looked smaller on the outside than it revealed itself to be, but it was by no means big. One single room with a wooden ladder to a loft area above, it was tastefully decorated in a rustic, western style. A brick fireplace was tucked against one wall, a neat stack of dry birch chopped and waiting, next to a small kitchenette with an old fashioned gas stove.  
  
Interior plumbing had clearly come long after the building which left the toilet as an addition off the side of the kitchen along with an ancient claw foot soaker tub that Claire wished she could bring home with her. A couch sat in front of the fireplace, the warmest place in the cabin and as they quickly discovered, Jamie’s bed. The upper loft had only a vanity and a double bed sitting on a low platform and covered with a floral duvet.  
  
Jetlag woke Claire up early in the morning, well before dawn, and she couldn’t help but peek over the side of the banister to the floor below. Jamie’s body was far too long for the couch and he had folded himself up on his side, wrapped tightly in a tartan blanket he’d pulled from his backpack the night before. Claire had insisted that he take the bed, but he was far too chivalrous to accept.  
  
The fire was smoored, but enough moonlight was coming through the windows to highlight the multitude of colours in his hair, a wild, wavy mix of cinnamon and copper. It was like nothing she had ever seen. It didn’t seem fair for a man to have such beautiful hair when he clearly didn’t appreciate it as much as she would. She’d gladly trade him for her boring, mousy-brown curls.  
  
“Beauchamp, you are completely obsessed,” she whispered.  
  
She was obsessed and she couldn’t pinpoint why or how it had happened. Jamie was just such a commanding presence and a beautiful person inside and out. Even his resonate snoring was somehow completely adorable through her rose-coloured glasses. She couldn’t believe it had only been a few weeks since the only thing she cared about was her job and her climb to the top of her field, now she was somehow in the midst of a crazy Montana adventure, snowbound in a cabin with her dream man.  
  
There was a noise out the window in the direction of the wooded area that circled the property. Before Claire even had a chance to process what she’d heard, Jamie had jumped up from the couch and was stuffing his feet into his boots which were left drying by the fireplace.  
  
“Jamie? What is it?”  
  
He replied in a flurry of sleepy Gaelic that left Claire’s head spinning. The door flew open, letting in a gust of wind and snow as Jamie ran straight out the door, leaving it wide open behind him.  
  
“Jamie, you’ll freeze to death!”  
  
With a grunt of frustration, she threw more layers on over her pajamas and raced down the steep ladder from the loft to chase after him. Being the more responsible of the two, she grabbed their heavy winter jackets lest she have to dig out her medical kit to deal with frostbite on day two of the trip.  
  
Jamie had gone around the cabin toward the trees. She followed the deep tracks in the snow he’d left, squinting against the snow and cold. He was standing perfectly still at the edge of the clearing, somehow not shivering in spite of only wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants. Claire was breathing heavy as she lifted her knees high through the drifts, feeling the chill of snow sneaking into the tops of her boots.  
  
She was about to call out to him when she saw it - a wild horse. Her equine experience was limited, but she was pretty sure it was a stallion from what she could see. It looked worse for wear - poor winter foraging was made obvious by protruding ribs; it had a full winter coat but patches were missing either from fights with other animals or from the malnutrition.  
  
She could see the beast’s breath billowing around it and watched in awe as it moved closer to Jamie, clearly inhaling deeply to smell him. Just as Jamie began to reach out his hand in invitation the horse suddenly spooked and took off back into the trees.  
  
“That was so amazing,” Claire said once she finally reached him. His arms were bright red from the cold and she took quick action to help him into his parka.  
  
“There’s some hay lying about here,” Jamie told her, pointing out the remnants of a few old bales. “They must know to come here for food. Ye picked the perfect place to stay, Sassenach.”  
  
They were trudging back through the snow toward the cabin when once more a sudden sound had Jamie running in the opposite direction and Claire watching him go.  **Gunshot.**


	6. Chapter 6

Claire’s lungs burned from the cold as she flew through the woods. Her hands slapped against the rough bark of the trees in an effort to keep her balance each time she slipped deeper into the snow. She could hear raised voices just ahead, including Jamie’s distinct Scottish burr. As she burst through the screen of trees she could see Jamie and another man talking heatedly next to a black pickup truck.   
  
In physical appearance the other man wasn’t particularly threatening. Average height and slightly overweight, he appeared rounder wrapped up in a khaki winter jacket but compared to Jamie’s tall, broad, imposing frame he still looked small. It was only the hunting rifle pointed at Jamie’s chest that gave him the upper hand. Luckily what she didn’t see was the dapple grey stallion they’d chased this way.  
  
“Don’t you think you can come onto my land and tell me what I can and can’t do!”  
  
Claire had seen too many stories on the internet about Stand Your Ground laws in the states where folks ended up dead with no repercussions. She was worried Jamie might try and challenge the man - being the stubborn Scot that he was, it didn’t seem to make a difference that he was holding a weapon.  
  
“Ye’ve no reason to kill that animal. He doesna ken land boundaries. He goes where he needs to - so his herd might survive.”  
  
“Except it comes here because that old bitch is always putting out food out. Then when they’re done with that they come here and destroy my pasture so there’s no good grazing left for my cattle come spring. If I see another one of those horses on my land it’s done for and if I see you again, you’ll be joining them!”  
  
“Jamie, let’s go! He’s not worth it,” Claire interjected, hoping to dial the testosterone back down to a more reasonable level.  
  
“Better listen to your woman, Jamie,” the man said sarcastically. “She’s smarter than she looks.”  
  
Those were the only words needed for Jamie to snap and lunge at the man. The two began a struggle over possession of the rifle, each pushing and pulling to gain control. Claire jumped back with a yelp they came barrelling toward her, nearly knocking her down.  
  
“Stop it!” she yelled. “Enough!”  
  
Although she was certain he couldn’t have heard her over the sound of the raw masculinity pulsing through his veins, Jamie heeded her words and stepped away with his hands up in surrender. The other man used the moment of vulnerability as an opportunity and quickly reared the rifle back and thrust the butt end forward into Jamie’s face.  
  
“Stay off my land! Final warning!”  
  
Claire waited until the truck was speeding off, snow flying in every direction before rushing over to Jamie, who was laying on the ground clutching his face.  
  
“You stupid, stubborn Scot! What the bloody hell did you think you were doing? You could have gotten yourself killed, you ignoramus! That man had a gun! What could have been going through your testosterone-poisoned mind?! We’ve barely been here 12-hours and already you’re–”  
  
“Sassenach?”  
  
“WHAT?!”  
  
“I’m hurt.”  
  
“I can bloody well see that, can’t I?!”  
  
“Help?”  
  
With a huff of annoyance, Claire dropped to her knees next to him in the snow. Nose bleeds always tended to look more dramatic than they were, but as she pulled his hands away she realized Jamie’s gusher was somewhat justified. She had seen a lot of broken noses in her days of emergency room rotations and his definitely qualified.  
  
“It’s broken,” she said, scolding him for his foolishness. She filled one of his hands full of snow and put it against the spot where the rifle had hit him, hoping to get some of the swelling down so she could better treat it.  
  
“Whatever could have been going through your mind? That man could have shot you.”  
  
Jamie mumbled something under his breath and if it weren’t for the impediment of his swelling nasal cavity, Claire might have found reason to be annoyed by that, too. She angrily pulled off her scarf and pressed it to his nose, feeling somewhat satisfied at the grunt of pain he let out at the sudden pressure.  
  
“What was that?”  
  
“He called ye stupid,” Jamie repeated softly. “I couldna let him speak about ye that way.”  
  
His eyes were bloodshot and would likely soon be surrounded by dark, black bruising but they still held the same genuine honesty that they always did and she felt her anger toward him soften.  
  
“You can’t get yourself killed over me,” she said, brushing the damp red curls back from his forehead. “I need you.”  
  
They held each other’s gaze for what seemed like forever, but was really just a moment while she soothingly stroked his temple, feeling the strong pulse beneath her thumb.  
  
“I need you, too.”  
  
“Bloody well right you do,” Claire said, the corner of her mouth lifting just slightly with a smile. “Who else is going to set your nose?”  
  
Jamie groaned and fell back dramatically into the snow.


	7. Chapter 7

“What did you mean before?” Claire wondered aloud as she wrapped a piece of gauze back into a roll to return it to her medical kit. It was lucky that she had the foresight to bring her bag along so they could avoid having to find the closest hospital. Jamie’s nose reset quite easily so she had packed his nostrils to stop the blood flow and made a makeshift splint to keep the swelling down.  
  
A ruddy eyebrow raised above a bloodshot blue eye in question. They were sitting on the couch, Jamie’s bedding folded up and tucked at the end so Claire had to sit in the middle next to him. A roaring fire was keeping the room warm, but Jamie still felt a chill from the cold compress she was pressing to the back of his neck.  
  
“You said you needed me,” Claire clarified. “What did you mean by that? Just the usefulness of having a doctor along, I suppose.”  
  
“No…it isna jus’ that. Although, given the present circumstances I canna say it hasna been a useful skill,” Jamie tried to smile, but it turned into a wince as the skin next to his nose pulled. “We’re in this together. I need yer support, is what I meant.”  
  
“Oh,” Claire said, not able to keep the disappointment out of her voice. Her eyes dropped to her lap, fingers playing with the roll of gauze.  
  
“You said it too, that ye needed me. Did ye mean the same?”  
  
“Well,” she sputtered. “I suppose I did mean that I needed your support. But I also…nevermind.”  
  
Claire started as Jamie’s hand reached up to grip her shoulder. He had moved closer to her on the couch, his thigh now pressed against the full length of her own.  
  
“It’s no just me, then. You feel it too?”  
  
“What do you mean?” she asked coyly.  
  
His hand drifted from her shoulder, along the curve of her neck, until he was cupping her cheek.  
  
“There’s something…between us. Something I havena felt for anyone afore. I thought perhaps it was just me, but maybe you feel it too?”  
  
Claire looked up to meet his eyes, seeing nothing but the truth. She sighed at the feeling of his thumb gently caressing her cheek and put her hand to his.  
  
“I’ve wanted you since the first moment I saw you in the pub,” she confessed. “But I’ve loved you since the moment you stepped in front of a loaded weapon defending my honour.”  
  
“So, prior to a few hours ago you simply wanted my body?”  
  
She dropped her hand, eyes rolling in jest. “Really, Jamie? I don’t know if I would put it that way, but that was certainly part of it.”  
  
“Sassenach,” Jamie smirked, leaning in so his lips were now mere millimetres from hers, so close she could feel his breath against her skin with every word. “Why did you no say so earlier? I’d have happily let ye have it.”


	8. Chapter 8

It had been a long time since Claire last had a high-school-style makeout session. They lay facing each other on the couch, lips and hands exploring. Careful for Jamie’s injured nose, Claire pressed herself closer, hooking one leg over his hip so she could feel his arousal against her. He groaned, a gruff growl that Claire felt reverberate deep in her belly.  
  
Lust-filled and frantic, she reached between them and easily slipped her slender fingers beneath the waistband of his sweatpants. He was hot and hard in her hand, damp skin silky against her palm. He panted against her open mouth, eyes unfocused and closed into slits as she quickly drove him to the peak. Jamie’s once-groping hands were now pressed flat against Claire’s back, his hips instinctively moving in time with her touch.  
  
The next breath got caught in his throat as the muscles across his body tightened and shook with release. Claire gently brought him down out of the stars, kissing face and jaw softly as he settled back into reality. It was fast, he knew. His cheeks flushed deep red, wondering what Claire was thinking about him. He knew he wasn’t small compared to most men, so he hoped she wasn’t unimpressed in that regard. Even as her arms wrapped around his chest, head tucking perfectly under his chin, his sweatpants still pulled down below his buttocks so he could feel the softness of her yoga pants against the tops of his thighs, he couldn’t help but worry.  
  
Feather-light kisses across his stubbled jaw brought his attention back to the whisky-eyed, brunette beauty that lay next to him.  
  
“Claire,” he mumbled but her lips continued to move until they reached his mouth.  
  
“Lass,” he tried to speak though his actions betrayed him by drawing her closer. “Wait.”  
  
“What is it? Are you alright? Is it your nose?” she asked, pulling back.  
  
“It’s no that. There’s something…I need to tell ye, before this goes any further.”  
  
The ominous tone in his voice immediately soured the mood. With a quick nod she sat up, allowing him a moment of privacy to readjust his clothing.  
  
“You’re not married, are you?” Claire laughed nervously.  
  
“No,” Jamie smiled wryly. He put a hand on her thigh, thankful when she put her own on top and squeezed his fingers. “It’s just that, I’ve never…ye ken?”  
  
“I’m afraid I don’t.”  
  
His cheeks were flushed bright red and not from the heat they had created together just moments before. “I’ve never been…wi’ a woman.”  
  
“Are you gay?”  
  
“No!” he turned redder still. “I’ve no been wi’ anyone. I’m a virgin.”  
  
“How is that possible?” Claire wondered.  
  
She’d done the mental math, Jamie would have to be in his mid-to-late 20’s. It seemed like an impossibility to her that a man as attractive and charming as him would have never had sex. Her mind was running to any plausible reason from a strict religious upbringing straight on to long-term incarceration. Jamie looked hesitant and she squeezed his fingers a bit tighter, giving him a reassuring smile.  
  
“I only mean, did it just not happen for you or…?”  
  
“Ye could say that,” he shrugged. “I told ye my Da died when I was 19? It was in an accident, like I said, but there’s more to it. T’was a fire. Our barn went up in flames, two dozen horses inside. My Da ran in to get them out and I after him. The smoke was so thick every breath stung sae badly, I couldnae see a thing. I didna realize my Da had fallen because of all the sound around me - the fire, things crashing, the horses panicking. Once I got out with the last horse I realized he wasna wi’ me. I went back in for him and…well, it’s likely easier if I show ye.”  
  
Claire reluctantly let go of Jamie’s hand as he got off the couch, standing with his back to her. He grabbed his shirt by the neck and pulled it forward over his head, exposing a vast expanse of heavily scarred skin that stretched from the tops of his shoulders and dipped just below his waistline.  
  
“You being a physician, I imagine it’s none so startling. Most don’t have your disposition.”  
  
Claire could see clear signs of multiple skin grafts and knew Jamie must have been through years of painful operations to mitigate the damage done. Standing, she reached out to touch the uneven skin. He flinched unconsciously as her hand smoothed along the hollows of missing flesh and raised hills of webbed scar tissue. Without any commentary she turned him to face her, a hand on each bared shoulder.  
  
“It’s not startling at all. It’s just skin,” she told him honestly. “Were you afraid to show it to women? That they might not want you if they saw it?”  
  
It was barely a nod but his eyes spoke the volumes that he didn’t need words to complete.  
  
“You’re showing me, though.”  
  
“You’re different, ken.”  
  
“Different how?”  
  
“I’m in love wi’ you.”


End file.
